


Barricade

by the_deaf_pomegranate



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Foster Care, Gay, Human, Human Catra (She-Ra), Lesbian Character, No Lesbians Die, Orphanage, Orphans, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 13:07:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_deaf_pomegranate/pseuds/the_deaf_pomegranate
Summary: Adora's been terrified to tell the truth - but Catra's not one to leave her alone when Adora's upset and won't tell her why. Will Adora finally let down the wall between them to admit what's really going on?Teen real-world AU where Adora comes out to her best friend, and hopes to God that she doesn't ruin their bond in the process.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	Barricade

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot is linked to my other fic, The Pact (https://archiveofourown.org/works/29252253/chapters/71830080), but also stands alone!
> 
> Hope you enjoy - let me know your thoughts :)

Adora chewed on her lip as she stared at the maths textbook in her lap, her legs crossed atop Catra’s bedding.

“Okay, spit it out. What’s really going on?”

She looked up to see Catra staring her down from behind her own books on Lonnie’s bed.

“Nothing, I told you. I’m fine.”

Catra rolled her eyes.

“Come on, Adora! There’s clearly something up. You _never_ want to come here instead of hanging out at your house, and I know that you don’t need any help with that homework. So why are you here?” She gestured at Adora’s overnight bag, which lay on the floor between them. “Since when did you ever stay out on a school night?”

Adora scolded herself for being so obvious. Nothing Catra said was wrong: she almost never agreed to come to the care home, and it had probably been the best part of a year since she’d visited last. Hanging out in the Fright Zone (the home really did live up to its nickname) always made her pulse spike a little; the niggling fear that they wouldn’t let her out after always wormed its way to the forefront of her mind. The sick horror that she could be forced to return – although she was already seventeen – still lingered over her. She’d thought it would fade when the spare bed in Catra and Lonnie’s room had been filled by a third girl all those years ago, but Adora struggled to accept she wouldn’t find herself on her old pillow, staring up at the peeling paint on the ceiling each night as she tried to figure out why she’d ended up here – or, depending on her mood, _who_ had let that happen. It didn’t help that she couldn’t ignore the guilt that came with seeing Catra in their old room either, knowing she’d never had the opportunity to be loved the way Adora had.

But now she’d squandered everything, for what? She tried to think of the upside.

_Maybe it’ll just be the two of us again, like we always said it would be._

Adora bit down further on her lip, not even realising how hard until warm blood oozed over her tongue. How was she supposed to tell Catra that she’d fucked everything up, taken the only chance at family either of them had ever had and thrown it away?

“Whoa, ‘Dor!”

Catra practically flew over to her, throwing her arms around Adora and wiping away her tears – now falling thick and fast as her chest heaved up and down – with the edge of her frayed sleeve.

“S-sorry, Catra! I’m being gross.”

She felt her friend pull her shoulder closer towards her breastbone, ignoring the snot and saltwater. Adora shuddered.

“It’s okay. Please, just tell me what it is.”

Adora leaned into Catra’s embrace, tossing the textbook off her lap so she could draw her knees into her chest. She took a deep breath. Was she really going to risk everything she had left?

_What if she never touches me like this ever again? Would it really be worse than saying nothing?_

“I promise you, whatever it is, I’ll try my best to help.”

Adora knew Catra didn’t let her trademark snark fall away often – she rarely spoke so kindly, even to her. She really must be worried, and Adora cringed at being the reason why.

“I’ve ruined everything.”

“What do you mean? Is this a school thing? Or your track competition? I’m sure it’ll work out fine.”

“No… I think I ruined it with my parents.”

Catra stiffened for a second; Adora could sense the frown spreading across her face.

“Why would you have ruined it? You have to let go of this doubt, Adora – it’s clear they love you. They _chose_ you. And it’s not like kids come with a returns receipt.”

Adora scoffed.

“You know that more often than not, they do.”

“Yeah, well, not _you_.” Catra’s hair tickled Adora’s cheek, her arm now draped around Adora’s shoulders as she shifted to the side. “What happened?”

Adora took a deep breath, holding it in her lungs, hoping it would make the question go away if her friend got the hint. But Catra just waited. Every second made the air feel heavier.

She’d run this scene over and over in her head and it always looked so different. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She’d planned on being fully secure in herself, so assured that no-one could object or convince her otherwise – she was supposed to be proud of herself, resilient enough for whatever conversation was set to unfold _._ Isn’t that how it was meant to be? But none of it was close to what this squeamish feeling in Adora’s stomach was.

_Perhaps this is the best it’s going to get for now._

“I… I told them I was gay.” There, she’d done it. _Was that as hard as I thought it would be?_ Adora continued, buying herself just a few more seconds of ignorant bliss, desperate to delay the confirmation that she’d spoiled their friendship. “And now they probably regret ever fostering me, let alone the adoption… I’m not the picture-perfect girl they thought they were getting. And now it’s so awkward, I can’t bear it.”

Adora couldn’t believe she’d spilled so much like that; it was like she was being driven by a force completely out of her control. Resigned to what was coming, she waited for a response – any kind of response – but Catra didn’t move an inch.

_Oh shit. This is bad. This is really, really bad._

Dismay began to rise through Adora’s whole body. _Did I screw this up? But… it’s Catra. It’s meant to be us against the world! _Mortified, she began to move away, sparks of betrayal starting to flash inside her as she jostled her shoulders to shake Catra off her. But Catra’s arm wouldn’t come loose – it felt like a scalding iron against her skin.

“Why did you say that to them?”

Adora wasn’t expecting that. Did she really have to spell it out?

“Because it’s true.”

Catra stayed statue-still. Adora felt like she could be sick. _This was definitely a mistake._

“Do you really think this would make them feel any differently about you?”

Adora’s voice felt so small, she wasn’t entirely sure if she was even speaking out loud.

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

Adora replayed the conversation with her parents in her head. She’d squeezed the words out in response to a painful dinner query about whether she might meet with a friend’s son who was also a long-distance runner – _you never know what could happen, darling_ – unable to meet either of their eyes, her hands clenched nervously under the table. She’d barely given them time to respond, a cautious “Honey?” only just making it through her mother’s lips before she ran to barricade herself in her room, jamming her headphones on and refusing to speak to either her mother or father in fear that she’d be rejected. She’d snuck out early to school that morning with her packed bag as well, ignoring the messages and missed calls they’d left her.

“Is this why your phone’s been going mad all day?”

Catra fished Adora’s mobile out the front pocket of her hoodie before she had the slightest chance to stop her.

“Hey!“

“Adora, have you even read any of these texts?” Catra’s voice softened – it was so unlike how she usually sounded.

Adora burrowed her forehead into her arms, elbows propped up on her kneecaps.

“I can’t…” Adora choked back a sob. This is what it all boiled down to. “I’m scared I’ve lost them.”

Catra sighed, twisting the ends of Adora’s ponytail around her fingers.

“This might sound weird, but hear me out...” She paused for a second, “Are you sure it isn’t _you_ who has an issue with it, not them?”

The question threw her. _Is it really me who has the problem?_ She didn’t want to open this can of worms – her brain was already a regular victim of aggressive self-interrogation.

“Look, I know I’m not the most experienced in this department,” Adora didn’t miss the tightness in Catra’s voice when she spoke, “but all I can see here are two parents desperate to make sure their child, who they obviously love so much, is okay.”

Adora twisted her head so she could see Catra out the corner of her eye.

“You really think?

Catra gave her a small smile.

“Yeah. And you know if I thought any different, I’d already be halfway there to give them a piece of my mind!”

She knew that Catra didn’t always feel comfortable speaking to her parents – she suspected it was another unwanted reminder of how Adora had been picked and she hadn’t _. She’d really do that for me? Even when it’s to do with this?_

“Let’s just ring them back, yeah? Let them know you’re alright and you’re just staying here for one night to catch your breath, hmm?”

Adora nodded, listening as Catra dialled home on her mobile and spoke calmly to her father like they were adults on equal footing; like she was already fully grown. Adora stared at her in awe, not even trying to hide it like she usually did. Did Catra even realise that she always seemed to have all the answers? Did she have any idea how extraordinary she was – especially to Adora?

Catra’s right arm stayed wrapped around her the entire time. She wasn’t really one for expressing her emotions verbally, but the fact that she was staying – that the way Catra held her hadn’t changed at all – was the sweetest relief Adora could have imagined.

It wasn’t long before Catra’s roommates returned and the conversation shifted into arguments over why Catra’s school shit was all over Lonnie’s bed, and who stole the good toothpaste, and whether they really had to set an alarm as early as 6am for the following day. But all Adora cared about was that she was still hanging out with Catra, that they still changed into their pyjamas without the kind of awkwardness that Adora was convinced there would be, and that they still crammed themselves into Catra’s single bed together, whispering stupid jokes to each other under the duvet like they had done for over a decade before.

Adora was just about to drift off to sleep, totally exhausted from it all, when Catra murmured into her ear.

“Adora… About earlier – how did you know? For sure?”

Her breath hitched. She could make up any reason she wanted but deep down, there was only one explanation.

_You._

Adora had rehearsed the speech she’d never say out loud so many times; every fibre of the soundproof wall she’d built between them protected their friendship.

_It’s how my blood feels too hot when you’re around and I never want to go home when I’m with you, and the way you try to part your hair a little to the left in the morning but it looks completely different by the end of the day, and how your fingers slip into the crease of my inner elbow when you pull my arm to get my attention in a crowded room, and how there’s a tiny wrinkle that appears right in the middle of your right cheek when you’ve just had a eureka moment in class – not quite a dimple, but not nothing either._

She said the next best thing she could think of.

“I just do, Catra.”

It really was true – even before she’d ever heard the labels for it, she’d always known.


End file.
